If you know me you are probably aware how important I feel about the need for negotiations and informed consent.  These are important factors in ethical kink, they are important for both the top and the bottom.  For tops it’s important because if you aren’t aware of sure of the bottoms limits or what certain things mean to them you risk being a consent violator, a label that will follow you around in the community.  For the bottoms it can be a matter of their personal safety.  If there is not some sort of pre-scene discussion then bottoms are hard pressed to know if the top is a good one or a bad one.  Also the might be good for other people but because a difference in definitions of actions they might be a bad top for you as a bottom.

I see amongst newer kinksters that they are not aware of what SSC and RACK are or what they mean.  In my opinion it’s important that everyone involved in kink activities should be aware of what they are doing, what the risks are of these actions, why do we react the way we do.  Let’s start with the definition of two

concepts that are cornerstones of safer kink.

Safe Sane and Consensual – they seem like simple words, and for a long time this  was the standard for most kink.  But then as more and more elements of dkink were added and gained popularity, things like rope, wax, fire, electricity etc. became common scenes it was necessary to find a new standard that better reflected the truth of many BDSM activities.

Risk Aware Consensual Kink – this became the new standard for a lot of kink activities as people acknowledged that no matter what there are still risks to some of our kink activities.  It matters that everyone involved, bottoms, tops, dungeon monitors, venue owners, event promoters, educators etc all understood what the risks are for performing various activities.

So how about spanking?  It’s safe right?  Well under most circumstances yes it it.  But, if you spank a bottom to the point of leaving bruises or if you beat on a bottom who is already bruised the risk of embolism becomes very real, beatings on the legs and thighs presents the risk of a deep vein thrombosis.  Do you know what are risk signs for these sort of ailments?  How would you render first-aid?    The point of this isn’t to show you all of the potential risks of every different kink behaviour but to point out something that we consider “SAFE” is actually “RISKY” if you look deeper and educate yourself.


Huffington Post Article on Consent

Good Therapy Article on Negotiations and Consent

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